So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

God damn it's foggy on Privet Drive. What? Do they live in a graveyard?	"Sorry I'm late, Professor McGonagall. It took me forever to find robes that matched my new hat. So what's new?"	"The Potters are dead. Voldemort, evil green light... you know the drill." ::cough, cough, cough:: "Jesus H. Christ, what the hell is with this fog?"
"It's atmospheric and important to keeping the movie seem mysterious. Wait,...did you hear something?"	"Holy Christ on a cracker, Minerva... get my camera. We're being abducted!"	"Oh, my bad."
"It's just Hagrid."	Hagrid had brought Harry along to the Dursley's house at Dumbledore's request.	Dumbledore could have brought Harry to live with him at Hogwarts.
He could have sent him to live with a nice, semi-normal family.	But noooo. He decided to leave Harry with...	These fine folk.
Good job, idiot!!	"I only wish I could have been there in time to stop the Potter's from being killed,"	"But I was really busy making this envelope look extra pretty."