So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"Oh you'll find out soon enough. He's going to try and kill you at least once this coming year."	[...]	So Harry goes off to school.
"Wait a tick, Hagrid. Wasn't it just my birthday, July 31st, like 2 days ago? How can it be September already?"	"Oh, that's just a blooper. Go with it."	"Oookay."
Harry meets one of his best friends.	"Hi, I'm Ron. I'll be making lots of funny faces, just like this one, over the next few years."	"Um, okay. Nice to meet you!"
"I'm Molly. I'll be like a second mother to you. So whenever I come on screen, everyone just says, 'Awww.'"	"We're the twins. We'll be the only source of comedy in your life over the next few years. We're poorly underused in the movies but our scenes are still the best."	"We're dirt poor, which will cause internal conflict for you, because you're filthy rich and we know it. But we've got a lot of love in our family."
"Except for Percy. No one really likes him."	"Don't mind Ginny here. She doesn't become important until next year."	"Poor Dad. He's not even in this movie."