So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"But Albus... these are horrible people! Why would you put the poor child through this?"

"Because when he grows up, it will be that much more angsty and sad. People will want him to have a good life and a nice girl to have some good romance with..."


"And of course, no sad story of a hero would be complete without the angst that comes from a decade of abuse at the hands of his evil relatives. When he grows up, he'll understand."

Harry grows up... but SOOO doesn't understand.

He lives with the Dursleys.

Who are very kind to him.

Extremely kind.

Saintly, even.


Harry dreams of a better life. With friends and no fat Dudley and no Aunt Marge and with broomsticks and ugly pointy hats and, of course, love...


Then Harry gets a letter...

Lots of letters...

Lots and lots of letters...

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