So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

They get past Fluffy easily, and land safely. Unfortunately, Dumbledore's secret Marijuana stash has grown out of control and begins attacking them. It has the munchies. But, of course, Hermione saves their lives and tells them how to get out of it.

But Ron isn't listening. They waver about just leaving him there. Alas...

Hermione saves his life. Again.

Next up: A chess board.

Because, chess? Totally blocks out the forces of evil. ::rollseyes::

Good job, idiot!

Ron couldn't be happier! Harry and Hermione don't understand.

"Dammit, you bastards have been monopolizing this entire recap. The recapper is completely biased! I'm either sleeping, making funny faces or I'm just completely insignificant. But I'm not taking it anymore!!!"

"Get your asses over there where I tell you and do exactly as I say."

"This is my moment in the spotlight, dammit."

"And I don't want to hear a peep out of either of you!"

Ron plays the best game of chess ever, then sacrifices himself so Harry and Hermione can get together...er, I mean get the Stone. Yeah, the Stone, that's right... Anyway, Ron's the hero! Three cheers for Ron!

"Poor Ron. This is the only time he's ever actually going to be the hero, and he's not even awake for it."

They get past the chess board. Of course, we know these 3 tests were done specifically to play to these 3 kids strengths, thus proving my theory that Dumbledore knows about things before they actually happen and placed these 3 kids together purposely somehow.

Or, you know, it was a lucky guess.

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