So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

The wizarding world has yet to take my hygeine advice. Eww. So Eww.	"Where to?"	"Um, somewhere clean."
[. . .]	"Um. Yeah... just take me to the Leaky Cauldron."	Oh yeah. He's totally dead.
Oh...nope. Spoke too soon.	He drives like my grandfather.	Skills!
While reading the newspaper, pimplehead shows Harry a picture of an incredibly good looking guy.	"AHHHHHHH!"	Wow. He sure does scream well. Sexy beast. Roaaar right back to ya, baby.
He's in the Azkaban Wizarding Prison of No Trials and No Justice Whatsoever.	And is yet another person from Harry's life that he isn't aware of.	Good job, idiot.