So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Suddenly there's a bunch of creepy, moving, wet things.	And the lights start flickering.	You know, when there's a a bunch of creepy, moving, wet things and the lights start flickering... I usually run before the forces of evil can kill me.
But not our Harry.	Who decides to just sit there and get eaten by the evil and badly computer generated dog of doom.	But there's a sexy wind which blows around his sexy hair, so it's alright.
Harry forgets he's a wizard and decides to just play fetch with his wand, hoping to distract the dog.	And then gets run over.	I'm a bad driver, but I'm not that bad.
And again with the plots I enjoy. So much. So very much.	Oh God Damn!!	Ewww. Just... damn! Clearasil can be your friend, man. I wouldn't let that guy touch anything of mine. Seriously. Not without one of those bioterror gas suits.
Hmm. A Chandelier. That's not inappropriate or anything.	Oh yeah. I'm sure Grampa Moses here passed all his driving exams. Sure. Totally safe.	AHHH! Jesus! What the hell?! Yeah, that ain't right.