So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

What's funny is that she can see into the future yet she can't see how bad that hair is.	Seriously.	Bad.
"Yes, Ly is my brilliant brother. How I miss him."	"Let us look at our cups and see our destinys!"	"Oh look, Harry. You've got the grim!"
"Oh... I'm sorry dear... this is your cup."	"Oh well, that's rich. One of 3 scenes I have in this movie and it's to remind me I'm going to die. Big shock."	Everyone is really interested and scared.
Except for Hermione, who's bored out of her mind.	Trelawney hates her. She's jealous of how much Hermione already knows.	So she tells her she's horrible and heartless and will never love anyone.
"Bitch, please. Kiss my ass."	[. . .]	Harry leaves too not wanting to listen to Trelawney's lies anymore. He goes to play Quidditch!