So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

On the train they meet a drunk and homeless bum.	Then the train breaks down.	And Hermione checks out Harry's ass.
Then we meet the Dementors.	"Hi there!!!!!!!!!"	"Suuuuper happy to be here! Thought we'd come and mingle... introduce ourselves!"
"So we're, like, the Dementors. But seriously though... if even one person tells us we look like the Ring Wraiths, I sware on my Prada handbags that I'll get so super mad. And I'll be like... whatever to you."	"Seriously, it's soooo annoying. We're, like, totally different. And they get all the benefits because they're so popular now."	"They think they're the shit because Peter Jackson chose them for the LotR movie."
"Like, hellooooo, we could have done it too, you know. Now they get to wear designer robes. It's, like, so unfair."	"Whateveeerrrr... they're total skanks anyway."	"And it's so unfair. They got to carry those shiny swords around. I mean,... bling, bling!!! We can't even accessorize! We have to wear these drab numbers with not one hint of color."
"I know! And they get pretty horseys! I'm sooo filing grievances with the union."	"Although we do get that really cool ice thing..."	"Ohmigosh! I toootally forgot about that!"
"Yeah, the ice thing is sooo much cooler than the stupid swords. Speaking of which..."	"Oh yeah! Suuuuper sorry, but we've totally got to do our whole freezy-pop thing right now. But I promise you'll feel super fantabulous afterwards."	"Oh my God...is this him???"
[. . .]	"Oh my god...he's totally cute!"	"I know!!!"