So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

All Harry has to do is say 'Diagon Alley'"	Harry is pretty to look at.	Not too bright, though.
He says the wrong word and ends up in this little shop of horrors.	I lived in NYC for a long time. I think a few of these people used to live in my old apartment building.	Look it's crackhead Mary!
Oh, wait, it's just a hag.	Okay, seriously. Would someone PLEASE introduce the wizarding world to some basic, 20th century personal hygiene?	Fingernail clippers and soap can be your friends.
Hagrid rescues Harry from the mole-people.	Hermione instinctively knows when Harry will be arriving, and goes outside to meet him.	She finally got rid of the psycho-chic hairstyle...
But is still stuck with the milkmaid clothes.	She spots Harry immediately...	and runs to him.