So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Suffice it to say, Vernon isn't pleased.	He puts bars on Harry's windows.	That? Is one strong ladder.
"This isn't fair."	"Um, hello!? At least you can still walk around your room and you aren't crapping on naked pictures of house elves."	Harry sleeps. But his dream about Hermione is cut short...
By either an alien spaceship, or one huge freakin' firefly.	But it's just Rescue!Mission Ron	Holy! Hit-Puberty-Hard Ron is like 25 years old now.
"Hey Harry! Back for another year of anguish and funny faces?"	"Bloody hell, Ron- is that you?? I'm so happy to see you! Get me out of here!"	They tie a chain to the bars on Harry's window so they can tear them off.
And it works.	Which proves this is just a movie.	'Cause if this were real life, and that was a real Ford, the bumper would have fallen off, right quick.