So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

[...]	"Well, I've sort of been using them to line Hedwig's cage."	"Nobody knows the troubles I've seen. Nobody knows my sorrow..."
"Sorry... I thought Hagrid sent them to tide me over..."	"Wait...no! You mean they're ruined? Those magazines were all that got me by! "	"Bwahhhh!"
[...]	"Oh no, now look what you've done. The ass-master is coming."	"'Ass Master,' sir? I didn't know your masters made you perform the same duties as mine. Don't worry I'll take the blame..."
"Just let me get into position, here..."	"WHAT?? No! Just... eww... Dobby, no! I just meant that he's a jerk and he won't be pleased to see you."	"And you kind of smell. No offense."
[...]	"I can't believe your masters make you... make you..."	"They call me 'just the right size'..."