So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"Moaning McPlot Device, ... I mean Moaning Myrtle, who you haven't seen yet because the recapper can't stand her character, told us that this is the sink that leads to the Chamber."	"Sorry I forgot to tell you before."	"Gee, I must have been sleeping, or burping slugs at the time..."
"But I don't understand..."	"Well there's a big shock..."	"Just speak Parseltongue and open the chamber, you moron."
Which Harry does... and it works.	So they make there way into the chamber.	It's funny- the Chamber survived for 100s of years, but suddenly there's 1 little knock into a rock and the whole thing falls down. So Ron is blocked off from continuing with Harry.
"Oh well, gosh, I didn't see that coming. Harry goes on and saves the day and I'm stuck here with Professor Lying Sack of Shit."	Harry enters the Inner Sanctum of Doom....	Where he finds a really good looking guy.
So we know he's evil.	"Oh my god, Tom... you have to help me. We have to get out of here before the snake comes back. Have you seen Ginny?"	"Oh Lord... Hermione didn't tell you?"