So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Harry makes his way back to the common room, when he finds the petrified body of the Blade 2 reaper.	I mean Justin.	And a diary. Which talks to him.
[...]	[...]	[...]
[...]	[...]	[...]
[...]	Harry suddenly gets Terminator'd into the past.	Where he sees Hagrid and Tom Riddle, this incredibly good-looking Slytherin who's obviously evil, arguing about something.
The entire scene is really pointless, except that we see that Hagrid looked like Joey Ramone when he was a kid.	If you don't know who Joey Ramone is... you suck.	So Harry exits the Psychadelic Express, and runs off to Quidditch practice.