So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"We've gotten really good at these stares."	"I've been practicing."	"Well c'mon, baby. My parents came today so they could meet you."
But Harry is pulled away from Hermione and her parents...	By this idiot...who is clearly a moron.	And clearly a bit gay.
Which is usually just fine by me, but he disgraces the gay community, really.	"Gee, I wonder who hired him?"	Good job, idiot!
Oh, I'm sure Dumbledore planned the whole thing just so Harry could expose Lockhart for what he really is.	Suuurre.	Hermione looks longingly after Harry and claps for him.
"Famous Harry Ppppotter. Can't even go to a Bbbookshop without making the front Pppage."	Harry missed 90% of what Malfoy said because he was being spit on.	I love me some Tom Felton, but does he have to spit every time he pronunciates a letter?