FASHION PATROL

Sometimes we just have to ask: what were they thinking? Fashion crimes against Dan and Emma in particular have been on the rise lately and here my guest editors and I will dicuss these fashion tragedies in hopes of doing a public service. Stop Fashion Crimes!


Note: Fashion crimes have no statute of limitation therefore I don't care how old they are. Style and trends will also be commented on. No offense is meant to any actor, only to the offending style. Just laugh and enjoy. And maybe protect yourself against fashion wrongs! And once in a while a Fashion-Do will be commented on so that we don't completely loose hope in Dan and Emma. We have to compliment them once in a while so they don't give up. Enjoy folks!


Report a Dan and/or Emma fashion crime.




Crime: Ripping off a bunch of nationalities
Criminals: Emma Watson
Accomplice: Wimbledon premiere
Date Cited: 7.01.05
Guest Patroler: My co-worker, Abby



Abby: She has such a pretty smile, but it's covered in all this...mess.


Kate: This whole outfit gives me a headache. There are just so many things wrong with this outfit.


Abby: When did white pantyhose come back in style?


Kate: When did pantyhose in general come back in style???


Abby: Her legs are way too chunky for white hose and flats. This should be an ad for why you shouldn't wear white hose and flats.


Kate: Her legs are actually skinny. As everyone, but Emma, seems to know, white makes your legs look bigger. She's actually a very thin girl.


Abby: And why is she wearing gold shoes with a silver purse?


Kate: I'm still stuck on the gold shoes. WTF? Seriously, what are those things? They're like Elton John's night slippers or something.


Abby: She has so many different theme's mixing here that she should just be wearing a map.


Kate: She's got the Japanese dress, the genie shoes, the futuristic purse, the modern hair, the 80's pantyhose... I'm so confused.


Abby: Let's not forget the pink pashmina.


Kate: You can look at this outfit and think Emma's got enough sense to buy a pashmina? It's her grandmother's old scarf, I think.


Abby: You're probably right. Is that not the most inappropriate part of this whole outfit or what?


Kate: No. The big smile on her face is the most inappropriate, actually. She shouldn't be smiling while wearing this. She should be crying. A lot.


Abby: Personally, I would have rather worn the green faux grass carpeting she's standing on than the dress. But that's just me.


Kate: Well, you're sane. I hope Emma burned those pantyhose when she got home. I really do.